MURPHY'S LAW

MURPHY'S LAW ... you remember ... some guy named Murphy postulated some time back (anyone know his/her first name ... or the date ... or whether Murphy even had anything to do with it?) that, among other things, "if something CAN go wrong, it WILL go wrong! Admittedly I am a pessimist by inborn nature, but in recent months I have been focusing on "the glass is half full" side of life's equation. Don't believe me? Just ask Father Monkey, or Hoppy, Turtle or Fish! Mother Bunny has been a whole lot more cheerful than is her norm, lately, and consequently a whole lot more fun to be around! After so many years, I finally realized a few months back that life could be a whole lot better ... even during down times ... if I would only look to the positive things in life, whether past, present, or to come.

All this month, and last month as well, Father Monkey and I have been anticipating the long awaited news of our little dragonfly from China (see prior post). We are adopting a little girl from China ... in process now for more than 3 years (longer than normal as we've had several unexpected events come up that delayed the process more with each event ... it is however, a long process in any event as it currently takes around 18 months minimum from start to finish ... i.e. picking up the baby). The Chinese send out their child/parent matches once a month, normally at the end of the month. And its a first come, first served policy ... when your paperwork arrives in China, it is logged in at the official government agency ... that date is your official "place in line" as it were. Our place was reserved July 26, 2005 ... since then our role has been largely one of waiting ... and waiting ... and waiting ... and wringing hands... and answering endless questions such as "Are you still adopting?" But, the pace began to pick up in late spring - early summer ... more and more matches each month. And so I allowed myself (Father Monkey was more rational) to hope against hope that they might come to our spot in line with the July group. Admittedly it would have taken a miracle ... but then, I believe in miracles, so why shouldn't it happen to us? It didn't happen.

So with the start of August we thought ... "Surely they will get to us this month! We are, after all, ONLY 12 days back in line." Not an unreasonable thought this month ... last month's matches equalled 15 days worth of line sitters! Well ... friday Father Monkey came home from work ... nothing SEEMED out of the ordinary. When I commented at some point later in the evening that "We should hear something next week ... its the end of the month. Surely they won't miss us this month!" Father Monkey looked a bit green (as in sick) and told me the news ... the Chinese had mailed their matches early ... and they had done only 8 days worth this time! Yup ... your math is correct ... we MISSED AGAIN ... by 4 days!!

When being optimistic is a task (i.e. doesnt come naturally), its extremely hard to keep it up in the face of such devastating news. And yes ... I sincerely and with much conscious effort strove all month to remember that it was POSSIBLE they might not come to our spot in line this month. I thought I had myself convinced, in fact, that we would not make it this month and that next month would be our time. Apparently I was not very successful ... the moment I heard the news, I started crying! I am normally fairly stoic and take negative news pretty well ... but not Friday. It's simply been too long a wait ... 3 years since we decided positively to adopt ... 5 years since I first broached the subject with Father Monkey ... my defenses crumbled at the touch, in a manner of speaking. And today, after reading one person's excited announcement of the referral (match with) of twins ... well I grudgingly wondered why she got 2 babies while I got none! I quickly regained a proper sense of perspective, of course, so if you happen to read this blog ... please please please dont be angry with me ... I dont really mean it as it sounds ... I AM HAPPY for you ... I follow your blog and thus consider this twist fabulous! We listed our willingness to accept twins on our application ... and now we have seen it happen ... so we are wondering what news awaits us! Again, as with the July match date, the probability outweighs us (of getting twins) ... but its possible!

Well foohy to you Mr./Ms. Murphy! You seem to get us on everything ... our entire married life, when something negative comes up as a potential event with say 1-5% probability of occurring (which is to say, it could happen theoretically, but probably won't) ... IT ALWAYS HAPPENS! And while its true I am currently hosting a pity party for myself ... I am not exaggerating! We seem to be the people Murphy had in mind when he/she penned the above quote!

Sigh!! If anyone happens to read this post and happens to be in the same or similar position ... I commiserate with you. If you have sage words of advice, I'd take those as well!

Thanks For Listening! Happier Trails the Next Time ... I promise!