"THE INCREDIBLE FLYING GIRLIE-GIRL" - addendum to "She Really is Dangerous"

"faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall sofas ... er... buildings ... in a single bound!"
Wait a minute ... I'm confused ... must be the new movie coming out ... that's Superman isn't it!

Funny though ... the parallels between Girlie-girl and Superman! I wonder if they're connected somehow? Maybe she's his pet dog ... sent along with him before Krypton blew up, to guard and protect him and keep him company on this strange planet. Maybe she somehow got lost ... or stolen. Could it be? Could Girlie-girl be from Krypton? Hmmm ... judge for yourself! You'll see what I mean.

1. She was found as an infant ... lost and all alone, wrapped in a blanket ... sort of ... okay okay a slight exaggeration ... she and her 9 brothers were dropped off, by their former owner, at a Labrador Retriever Rescue Organization's Location ... but she was only 10 weeks old, and the only female of the litter!

2. She was adopted by a friendly couple (me and Father Monkey) ... in this case not quite "young" but not quite "elderly" either ... with 3 young critters: a Hoppy Toad, a Turtle, and a Fish. The family was sad because their previous dog companion of many years, English Lady, had recently passed away. They were going to wait a few months to adopt another dog, but the house was too lonely without English Lady. Mommy (aka Mother Bunny) ... ironically always the self-proclaimed non-dog fan ("THIS" story to come sometime soon I imagine) ... herself insisted upon it!

3. Girlie-girl has INCREDIBLE powers. You know all the dog toys labeled "Indestructible" by the manufacturers? Well ... Girlie-girl lays waste to these within 5 minutes - TOPS. A "normal" dog toy ... or kid toy ... or gameboy ... or DVD ... or sock ... or literally ANYTHING she can get her teeth on is generally gone in a much shorter time frame. ALTHOUGH ... to be fair to Girlie-girl ... it took her about 10 days or so to polish off the gigantic, monstrous 18 inch long, 4 inch diameter rawhide bone I purchased a month or so ago. This one really surprised me ... I HOPED maybe it would last 2-3 days! Maybe it lasted so long because at the same time she was also busy with the usual assortment of socks, shoes, toys, and varied contraband!

4. She certainly is "faster than a speeding bullet!" If she wants to escape out the front door to the great outdoors, to run helter-skelter through the jungle well beyond our personal borders, she's gone faster than you can scream "N ... o!!" And she's nearly impossible to catch!! Ok ... IMPOSSIBLE to catch ... without the "secret" weapon (as it were).

The Secret weapon (and I am not naive enough to think its going to work forever ... or even for very much longer) to "catching" her is to offer her a ride in the car. That is, Father Monkey or I get in the car, drive to wherever she has run off to ... being sure to leave one of the sliding doors open ... and also being sure not to forget her "treats" (aka BRIBES), honk the horn, and call out the window "Girlie-girl, you wanna ride in the car?" Embarassing? You bet! But it sure beats paying the homeowners association that $150 fine when Hoppy Toad, Turtle or Fish gets caught swimming in the lake while trying to catch her!

Frequently she will tease us a bit ... coming close and then running off again. Eventually however, she comes along and hops in the car. We quickly slam the door shut and offer up her bribe ... er ... treat, for being a "GOOD GIRL" We then take her for a brief ride around the neighborhood, before returning home. Generally by this time, we've wasted a minimum of 30 minutes ... and most often much more than that!

You're probably wondering "Why don't you just take the idiot dog home and forget the ride?"

Am I right? Ah, would that life were so simple! You see ... Girlie-girl is SMART. In the short year that we have had her in the family, she has proven again and again that in all likelihood, she's SMARTER THAN ALL OF US COMBINED! And we have a "MENSA" candidate or 2 residing within these walls! Simply put ... if we didn't go ahead and give her a ride 2 things would surely happen: 1) the game would be up and we'd have to come up with a new means of "catching" her; and 2) she'd get even (I will leave that to your imagination ... )

5. The final "Kryptonite" criteria ... the one that makes her the most awesome ... not to mention dangerous for the shear fact of it ... is her amazing ability to leap over the sofa ... front to back or back to front ... in a single bound! Frequently demonstrated when we return home from an outing and she is let loose from her crate, she comes bounding through the living room at full speed ... another danger in and of itself for any poor soul who happens to be in her path ... and leaps over the sofa with a single motion! Occasionally she'll be off by a fraction and crash into the lamp sitting on the sofa table behind (can you say "broken lamp" ... she hasn't been hurt yet) the sofa. But this is rare ... she's quite good ... and amazing!! The primary problem is the person sometimes in her path. She's so fast, there's little time to move out of the way! Furthermore, Girlie-girl also uses this ability when she then continues to where her "mommy" is ... that would be me, Mother Bunny, adopted mother ... and jumps into my arms!! This might not be a problem if she weighed 5 pounds ... but she weighs around 60 pounds!!! No doctor bills yet ... but I expect the ole back to give out eventually!

Ok ... so there you have it ... 5 reasons why I think she must be from Krypton ... and really Superman's pet! What do YOU think?

Anyone happen to have Superman's email address?